Thursday 29 March 2007

THE PAPER CHASE

Did you hear the one about the conscript who chased bits of paper?

He was obsessive. He couldn’t walk past a piece of paper without picking it up. He would look at it briefly and then throw it away again.

Once he was doing drills on the parade ground when a wind got up and began to blow bits of litter and fragments of paper all over the place. He broke ranks and ran around the parade ground until he had collected every one. He examined each in turn and threw them back into the swirling breeze.

He was arrested and sent to DB for two weeks. Detention Barracks, where they made you do pole PT until you vomited. Where they made you polish the concrete floor until the corporals could shave in its reflection.

But he kept on chasing paper, in DB itself, and afterwards when they reluctantly let him go back to his unit.

Eventually they took him to hospital and had him examined by a panel of doctors and psychiatrists. They couldn’t find anything wrong with him but decided they had no choice other than to let him go.

When they gave him his discharge paper he looked through it carefully and said, “Thanks. This is the one I’ve been looking for.”

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